License

Last night Dean and I got our marriage license at the Sacramento County Clerk. We had to raise our right hands and swear that everything was correct. I'm going to be Meadow Brianna Pritchett. My married name was right there. It's kind of fun having it. Now we can get married anytime. I joked about driving up to Tahoe last night at dinner, and everyone was on board but then we remembered I didn't have my dress, so I guess we'll have to wait. If I had my dress, I would actually be way more tempted to get married sooner, but I won't even have my next fitting until June 21, and by the time I actually have it, it'll just be a week until the wedding, so I guess I'll end up waiting for the official date.

I'm trying not to play the victim after this diagnosis, but I have definitely been experiencing victim feelings. "I shouldn't have to do that. I have diabetes." "I don't want to do that right now. I have diabetes." And that same part of me mentally pats my head and says, "That's right, sweetie. You have diabetes. Don't you do anything you don't want to." It's not very healthy. I know it's all recent and shocking and new and stuff, but really, having diabetes doesn't entitle me to anything. I've never before thought about bringing my dad flowers or sending him a card to encourage him in his daily taking-care-of-himself. Maybe I should though! Pricking my finger every few hours sucks. My fingers are sore, and it's not like this is just a phase to get through. I'm not sure if they'll adapt or not to getting pricked all the time. I may have sore fingers forever. On the bright side, every time I think to complain that my fingers hurt, I'm reminded of this. And that makes me laugh.

Today is the last instructional day for my classes. Monday is presentations and essay writing, and on finals day students will take a multiple choice test on French 1 and watch their final videos in French 3. It should be pretty great.

My brother J sent me an email from Portland to encourage me. He included a passage of verses from 2 Corinthians 4. On Wednesday I had the fragment of the verse, "We have  this treasure in jars of clay" but I couldn't quite figure out how it related to my situation. So I didn't pursue it. But yesterday Jeremy sent me the passage in which that verse finds itself, and suddenly I understood the truth God was speaking to me heart:

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written, "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that he one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. -2 Corinthians 4:6-18