I made it through the night again. Grace. My blood sugar was pretty good when I tested it in the morning. I miss D. He took off work yesterday and stayed with me all day and told me things were going to be ok as many times as I needed to hear that. He is amazing. I am going to marry the most amazing man alive!
Today I'm back at school, like everything is normal. Because everything is normal. That is the grace and the blessing and the good news. Everything is normal, minus a few extra shots and some more obsessive carb-counting. I had to eat a lot more than I usually would at breakfast this morning to make sure I was giving my body enough to match the insulin the Dr. wants me to take for now. I packed up my work-bag and then I added my needles, insulin, glucose monitor and glucose tablets to a bigger purse, and off I went.
I'm experiencing some psycho-somatic symptoms, like feeling like I can't walk or feeling like my body must hurt because I've got diabetes. The reality is everything else is working great. I woke up a lot of times last night and tried to play "find a feeling" in my body- did everything feel pretty normal? Should I take my blood sugar to be sure? Was I having an insulin reaction? What should I do, God? But I still ended up with a pretty good night's sleep.
God is so good. I'm going to be fine. Everything is going to be ok.
You are going to be fine, but you are allowed to freak out whenever you want. That is fine too.
ReplyDeleteThe upside? It looks like you're getting a forced super-healthy diet. So that's kind of cool. (Although maybe not, I don't know much about it...)